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The Udder Destruction Of​.​.​.

by The Amazing Fisticuffs

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1.
Tally Rally! 03:31
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I wanna get next to you when I see you at the county fair But first I've got some thinking to do over what I'm going to say I must admit that I'm enraptured by you but my propensity is to stare So maybe I can talk me through the complications of desire Hey baby maybe Monsanto clean! Don't wanna ROCK but I will say please I'll shake your way if you'll dig my scene Trying this out loud might just kill me You're falling hard for me I know because I can smell Your greasy smile and taste your long crooked hair Anticipate desires and yes I did come prepared With a twilight spot for us where we can hold to tonight Hey baby maybe miscarried dreams! Your dolly-rot was just on my shirt sleeve We danced the Dance of Mutated Knees But there's your face just confused by me Said Fae Ray [Yow!] Come join me in my brain for free Spots of silver are prominent indeed Reject the claim that I'm a V.C.R. Playback is CLEAN and NEAT and plays this life a better... Way too bleak FLOOR! Come join me in my brain for free Spots of silver are prominent indeed Reject the claim that I'm a V.C.R. Playback is CLEAN and NEAT.. Way too bleak FLOOR!
2.
Sharks That Do Things? 02:15
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Went to a picture show Thought I talked to a friend I didn't know Went into town and spun around like Moses baked our bread Walked to a breaker's block Said I can move but sure you'll drop to the lot Because I'm the coolest android man with android pants now watch this move So says to Shark Boy, I says... HEY!!! You don't have the proper clearance for us to be sure your rights right Medicate till it gets docile so we can build it back reversed in single file Proper dosage to be determined patient's say isn't required at the current time Close the book and sign this paper so we can progress here's my sharks smile Yeah... whatever.
3.
I Think I Saw A Small Man In A White Coat Doing Something Unspeakable To Your Pet Ferret. Sorry Jenny. 03:36
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My platypus ran really far away Got bionic toes implanted yesterday Now she's got a brand new leash on all her lice My platypus got rocket boots now Went straight to the moon and built Jupiter So now she can breathe on the Sun Shame shame shame But static electricity now Has a whole new scary meaning And my platypus has got to be real afraid My platypus had her birthday Pikachu now runs super far away Because my platypus rocked the place Hey hey hey My platypus My platypus M-m-m-m-m-m-my platypus The Endangered Species Protection Act will protect your platypus from all predators, be they man or ROBOTS FROM OUTER SPACE. If some electric rat comes to try and challenge your platypus, it can defend herself. It has laser beams mounted on top of her skull. She will reign supreme.
4.
Crossbow Epitaph. 04:02
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Tell Dear Donna that I love her Tell her that I truly care Tell Dear Donna that I need her Tell her that her love is fair Ask her why she doesn't call me Nearly as much as I (call) her Tell Dear Donna that I need her love And that I'm lost without the girl Tell Dear Donna that my life is over Tell her that it's all her fault Tell Dear Donna that my time is coming to an end And that I'm sick of all this pain Ask Dear Donna where she's been at Haven't seen her since I've searched Showed up at her window twice now And my heart it really hurts Tell her that I really want her To be in my arms tonight Tell her that I truly need her love And I'm feeling much like dirt Tell Dear Donna that my life is over Tell her that it's all her fault Tell Dear Donna that my time is coming to an end And that I'm sick of all this pain Tell Dear Donna that I really wanted it But that now this crossbow's my onliest friend Where I'm gonna go you'll have to hold your own hand Wishing we could sleep together underground Tell her that I'm painting the walls on this fine night But that the picture isn't one you'd want to keep Tell my Dear Donna that whatever happens in her life I'm the sob story little kid tonight
5.
Hummingbirds... And Other Pretty Things. 04:12
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I look at you in a fashion that's notably similar to The way the flower looks at the sun Which is to say I suppose that I don't really care about you directly I just use you for the warmth and food I can't crawl away From myself when you're with me Try to tell myself that It's alright Looking through the windows that are painted over with grease from the years greet me as I Lay in this room wondering if I'll see I try to take something beautiful Paint it with the oils from my skin and machined joints The residue from ceilings that leak It looks like it did In my head only jaundiced Like it happened in my dream The same way it never could I think I need this more than I ever, did when I was there by your side I'm thinking violence claimed its new home that, you built in my mind, and I want out now Can't you just go home with some one else? I'll try to crawl my way out of this room now I break my fingernails trying to escape I just want out my teeth hurt I'm not ready AWESOME!
6.
Scrotchy In The Lake!!! 03:09
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I don't like you, and I don't think I can Make the decision with the information I have Seems so hopeless that I'm resigned to the mistake Maybe... I just can't escape Maybe it's the condition I'm in and perhaps it's my desire to obfuscate Sleep tends to diminish perceptions and allotments of time I might use to mitigate Reality as a malleable component to the the whims of those who are awake To the unforeseen misfortune of those not conscious to complain Hoping over hope that my own desires be counted among those that carry weight But unless I wake and raise my own concerns then a passive rider I remain I.... want my money back Put it all on what I thought would work No.... words can express remorse Was gonna surprise you with a real big win Fix.... all of this for me? Pretty please? The misers want to take my hands I wanted to say no But you know how environments impact Hold the bold assertions you make Close to your chest and make a bet for me Steal a tiger feed a lion pet a rhino paint him Climb a building go skydiving just do something go on Fall off the wagon buy a pound of Jamaican snod-grass poke monks Mamma Mia this song keeps going so eat some cheese sticks let's all Stop
7.
A Much Needed Public Service Announcement. 02:35
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One two three four five six Seventh Heaven Hey little fat kid What are you going to do for yourself tonight? Ghost of Wilfred Brimley And His masterstache will haunt you for your crimes Nobody loves me so chocolate will If you don't like it you can all go to hell It's a genetic condition so get off my back I'm just eating pancakes to get school off my mind Well hey fatter fat kid When's the last time you've tried to walk the block Just sitting in your room Watching cooking shows like internet porn Ask yourself why They said it was cute when I was a child But so much abuse when I grew my third chin Gastric bypass just it wasn't enough I gained the weight back through parental neglect Nobody loves me so candy bars will I'm blaming you for the condition I'm in I'm always sweating (because of) a disease not my weight Just call a doctor and Pizza Hut for me
8.
Euphoric Gal. 04:35
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I can see you there, across the park With your bright red hair, green eyes so dark I would like to meet, carry you away In my home I'll keep you shut away I thought you might like it in my head If you give me your heart I'll preserve it all I can take away all of your pain Make you dream of me for all your days Our love won't decay although your body will You scream for a savior, but I'm already here I'll make you the happiest girl not alive This chloroform is just our game With this bag you're in, I'll carry you away To a place where we can spend your life Taking you apart because you're mine When I eat your lungs, you'll breathe through me And your eyes can watch from bedside dreams While I hold your skin in which I cry It's all for your love which can now never die Our love won't decay although your body will You scream for a savior, but I'm already here I'll make you the happiest girl not alive Not alive Our love won't decay although your body will You scream for a savior, but I'm already here I'll make you the happiest girl not alive Not alive Not alive Not alive Not alive....
9.
One... More... Cigarette... 06:58
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Ugh... Its eleven thirty. Damn is my head throbbing. I smell like... stale Bourbon? Poured by homeless dregs, the ones that piss themselves for the warmth. Ahh... My last cigarette, a crushed pack and a lucky lighter. I'll let the tendrils of smoke slip through my fingers and climb into the slowly rotating ceiling fan. I'm dwelling in this chalk around my already dessicated sense of well being, this dust that I frequent for its comfort. There's my jacket, I'll set to walking, too bleary eyed to know what goddamn street I'm on. A woman, standing on the corner, her makeup like a cracked sidewalk Her blistered eyes tell stories of a thousand nights standing right here, waiting for some car to pick her up A sense of familiarity? I think so I knew the girl behind that weathered mask And there used to be a spark in her eye, when her life was on fire But that was many years ago, when I could see in color So I crossed the street to where I lived, back so long ago In the days where friends still came around, still talked to me Another friend I loved is in the ground, who used to say he'd do everything Burned up like a pack of matches, for one moment before he was gone Like so much of myself. Like all of what used to make us go on I need one more drink One more cigarette To disappear Please just help me We had a reason to live We all had aspirations Moved on to reality of our age Much like disease I've found myself amiss Gone from what I loved We've all grown so damn old Can't hold on, can't hold out One more taste of my old life I hold my head as high as I can, but i still can't see over the line. The horizon of a new day still seems every bit as far
10.
Random Violence! 03:15
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Random violence random violence random violence random violence Random violence random violence random violence random violence Get you in the back and cut you into little pieces Trap you in the house and stalk I bleed you out Walking slowly but I'll catch up with you every time Break through walls and I..... Just a hulking nightmare that you'd tell your friends around the fire Was a spooky legend made to scare the children to behavior Nothing really out there during blackest nights to keep alert for That just goes to show you what suggestive themes can get you in to Random violence random violence random violence random violence Random violence random violence random violence random violence Looking through the windows taking careful stock Of all the horny teens that populate this box Supple young and maybe ripe with blood I'll paint On these walls a message to...... Tearing naked teens apart to satisfy my basest urge Screaming crying running hiding doesn't keep this beast from you Hopeless now you know your friends have next we come down fast on you Damaged scared and desperate girl turns out she might just be a virgin? Ow, ow ow ow owwwww wowwow wowoow ooww wowoww o wwwowwooowwooooo This is the end of the song This is the end of the song, kids
11.
To Tom w/ Malice! 07:19
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Go Nobody ever loved you anyway They just sat around and watched you play on myspace You wrote a blog and took a picture And you posted it and you thought about it And nobody commented and everybody thought so you obviously And you're watching and you masturbated to internet porn probably And you decided to see the same trumpets [indecipherable] I don't want to be a part of your friends list [laughter] My life's become a reality show My friends all watch and maybe the net will approve And I can be famous I don't think that a microphone Is a very good place to call a home But I sort of crave the validation now The world can watch as I do my deeds I'll let them know when I fulfill my every need I'll update it to my feed Privacy? Who wants that when you're digitized like me?! Why read a book when I've got youtube at my feet? What'd you see and what did i say? Post a tweet about it right away Who is this Huxley guy anyway? I'm moving over to facebook Yes going to facebook facebook Add to friends! No friends? Add to friends! Have no friends, have no friends, in the skin world! I have sooooo many friends They all reallllly like me Always there to approve I will never be unknown Life is all that i dream Rainbows and unicorns Deliver binary smiles i will never be alone
12.
[Ineffectively Hidden Track] 03:30
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[story] I've got a wallet full of ass I bust it out like I'm a mad fuckin pimp You better keep a hold like a bitch is told And maybe you can stay on the ride with me [Joke] Yeah so maybe I'm on the run But life without this shit it aint that god damn fun So check this shit and hold my dick There aint notime to fucking fuck around today [Joke] Now this is the part where I pull my nine But holy shit it's the cops I cock my shit and empty clips Like I'm the fucking emperor of this whole god damn town What happens when a cow falls into a barbed wire fence? You know what happens? UDDER DESTRUCTION!!!

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released February 9, 2016

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The Amazing Fisticuffs Hedgesville, West Virginia

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